


Hotel

by Lunarshrooms



Category: Green Eggs and Ham - Fandom
Genre: At one point, Comedy, Drugs, Fluffy, Food, Guy Is Falling For It, Hand Job, Inside Jokes I Have With My Friend, M/M, Marijuana, Mention of pregnancy, Orgasms, Praise, Sam Is So Smug, Smoking, So Flirtatious, Soft sex, Spicy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, so soft, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:02:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunarshrooms/pseuds/Lunarshrooms
Summary: I don’t know man, enjoy!
Relationships: Sam I am/Guy Am I
Kudos: 15





	Hotel

**Author's Note:**

> Was just... in need of some soft sweet sex with a side of weed.

Sam I am, I am Sam was sitting at the bar table filling up his lime green glass pipe, deciding to only fill it half way sense they had to leave the hotel in an hour. Couldn’t become an incomprehensible moron in front of everyone now could he?

Taking the end of his pipe and lighter he put it to his face, excited to take the first hit.

“What is that?” A voice spoke, startling Sam and making him almost drop it.

Slowly turning around with the use of the spinny chair, he found Guy with his arms crossed standing in the hall between the kitchen and living space.

“Oh hay there best buddie! You wanna hit?” Sam asked, lifting his pipe to show it.

“No I would not Sam... why on earth would I?! I will not be returning to prison!” Guy yelled, lifting up his arms.

“Oh come on Guy! We won’t get caught, I promise!” The short man said, spinning the chair in many circles.

“No way! Have you seen what that stuff can do to you? I am not doing it!”

Sam hopped off the stool and jumped in front of Guy, making him stop dead in his tracks.

“Hay... have I ever made you try something you didn’t like~?” He said slyly.

Guy sighed and looked at the ceiling.

“I’m never gonna live down the whole ‘I tried something different and liked it’ thing am I?” The Knox sighed.

“Nope! And you know well I’m going to get you a shirt that says that on it for Christmas right?” Sam said. Wiggling his brows at him.

Guy groaned.

“There’s no way out of this, is there?”

“Nope! Let’s go in the bedroom!” Sam stated, already making his way over to the room.

“The bedroom? Oh, now that’s just obscene!”

“I did this plenty of times, it’s all good!” 

Guy sighed. “Okay, fine.”

He followed after Sam and sat on the bed, looking awkwardly over at his friend. The shorter of the two passed the pipe over and Guy took it.

“You get firsties~”

The Knox rolled his eyes and looked down at the pipe. He didn’t know how to do this, he never got high before...

He cleared his throat.

“How do you, uh...”

“Oh! Here let me show you!” Sam said, giving a brief demonstration without actually lighting the bowl.

It was a simple process and yet looked kind of dangerous, how did stoners do this without burning themselves?

Somehow he didn’t set his hands ablaze when taking his first hit, but of course it did make him cough, burning the base of his throat. He wasn’t counting on it being this strong, but he soon got a grip on it and took a smaller inhale.

He passed it back to Sam, who took it and used it like a pro.

“Ohhh that’s the good stuff...” The little man said, puffing out rings of thick smoke.

Guy giggled a little.

Sam turned to him in surprise at such an adorable giggle coming out of the usually grumpy man. But found himself going with it.

“What~?” He asked, crafily. Allowing himself to fall frontward on the bed, and using his fists to support his head. The small man looked expectantly at the Knox to spill the beans.

Guy blushed and looked away, clearing his throat.

“It’s just well... ahem... I just really love how confident you are, it’s nice.” He said looking back at Sam with a little yet gleaming smile and blush on his face.

Sam stopped swaying his legs and blinked rapidly at that, feeling blood rush to his face and going beet red. Everything about what Guy has said made his heart flutter and a warm feeling enter his core. He soaked in the Knox’s soft gravelly tone and light laugh, he inhaled.

“I didn’t know you thought of me like that...” Sam said, not able to help but smile big.

Guy lied down ontop the soft comforter before speaking.

“I never knew how to say it... but now I do and it feels really good to.” Guy said, petting the plush surface.

“You know what I love about you? Your smile~” Sam said, skooching a little closer to his friend and allowing his hand to brush next to the Knox’s.

Guy was so embarrassed by that and tried to look away to hide his smirk.

“Hay now. No need to hide it from me, let me see that million dollar smile~” Sam laughed, getting closer to see Guy’s face.

“Oh my god, that is so yiffing cheesy.” The other said, trying to conceal his giggles. Sam embraced him with a hug so he could finally get a good look at the other. Guy didn’t fight it.

“Cheesecake is cheesy, I am a poet~!” He said rolling over to give the other space, and watching as Guy moved over to lay flat on his back and looking over at him. A truly content sigh leaving the Knox’s mouth.

“Sam... I need you...” Guy found himself moan suddenly, feeling the high started to take its affect. But after realizing what he said, he covered his palm over his mouth and gasped.

“O-oh my god, I am SO sorry! I don’t know what came over me...” he stuttered, sitting up fast.

Sam couldn’t help but gape his mouth open and widen his eyes in shock at that.

But after a moment he sat up and reached out for Guy’s arm, making the other turn.

Sam gulped, and took a leap of faith. “W-what do you need me to do?” He asked, trying to keep up his flirting but coming out strained with jitters.

Guy couldn’t help but relax under Sam’s touch, feeling that familiar need in his lower region again.

Sam got a little closer and began to stroke the other’s arm up and down lovingly. Guy lifted his hand and put it over the other’s, making Sam stop and look up.

“I... would like you to... do me...” Guy said, barely able to get it out because he was so ashamed at feeling this way about his friend. But the way Sam was looking at him made him want to say the truth.

Sam inhaled at that. “Are you sure you want me to do that?”

Guy nodded and spoke softly.

“I trust you, honestly there’s no one I’d rather do it with...” He said, smiling.

Sam grinned and whispered in his ear. 

“I’m going to make you feel so good then~ Lie down and I’ll do the rest~” The smaller man then nipped Guy’s ear gently.

Guy let out a small moan, then moved to the center of the bed and lied down on the pillows.

Spreading his legs, he offered himself to Sam.

Sam placed himself infront of the others legs, holding one in his left arm and put the other on his right shoulder. He leaned in, still looking at Guy as he graisd his mouth over the Knox’s inner thigh and placed small kisses leading down to Guy’s already dripping cunt.

“You’re already so wet for me~? I guess I won’t be needing to use my saliva after all~” Sam said.

“Sam, that is not hot at a- ohhhhh!” 

The smaller man ignored Guy as he was brushing his tongue lightly along the Knox’s outer lips, lapping up his juices.

“Mmm, you taste better than green eggs and ham~ if I could, I’d go on a strict diet of your pussy.” Sam hummed, smiling into the other as he heard him snort.

“Oh that’s so bad! Why do I love you again??” Guy laughed, then looked down when he felt Sam stop.

“What?”

“You... love me?” The shorter man asked.

Guy blushed the hardest he’d ever had done before, but found himself smile and nod.

Sam felt his heart swell and soar, smiling wide with what MUST have been glitter in his eyes. Sam then leaned his head against Guy’s thigh.

“I love you too... And I’m gonna show you just how much~” His words filled with such a love and affection.

He moved himself to be tucked snuggly inbetween Guy’s legs, moving his head closer to the other’s. Before taking a hand and smoothing it over the Knox’s furry cheeks, and then clashing lips with him.

Guy wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck and kissed back passionately.

After parting lips, Sam lowered his other hand to grip his hard on in his palm. Stoking it up and down, feeling precome drip down his shaft. Before sticking a finger in Guy’s quivering folds and working it in and out, then adding another and a third. Feeling as the other’s canal clenched around Sam’s digits, he removed them, feeling slick gather on his fingers. Then taking his hand and coating it over his member.

All the while Guy was in extacy, almost coming as he was being fingered.

Sam then looked Guy in the eyes before saying. “Are you ready~?”

Guy nodded eagerly, needing to feel what Sam’s cock felt like inside the walls of his vagina.

“Okay, here I go~” He said, guiding and slowly slipping his dick into the Knox’s hole. Before slowly grinding his hips in and out, he heard Guy gasp and moan with pleasure.

“Oh- Sammy more!” The Knox cried out softly.

Sam did as he was told, and smiling a little at the nickname. As he made love to him, Sam caressed his friend’s sides and down to his ass, groping it softly.

“You’re so beautiful, everything about you makes me so happy...” Sam panted, sticking his face into the soft tuffs of his thicker white fur.

Guy felt hot tears gather at his eyes and slip down the sides, crying at the raw feelings that were being shared.

“Thank you... so much...” He sniffed, looking down and watching Sam wipe his tears away and smile warmly.

“Hh hh, you don’t need to thank me for being such a wonderful person~ You did that all on your own... I was just blessed enough to witness it...” Sam said, biting his lip as he got closer to climaxing.

Guy closed his eyes, allowing himself to become lost in the midst of unbridled ecstasy.

When not even a minute went by, suddenly Guy heard a crunching noise in front of him, Sam was eating nachos and cheese as he fucked him into the mattress.

“So good...” Sam barley whispered.

“Sam... w- what thhhe actual hell??”

“Eh, the munchies? Want some?” The shorter man asked, holding up a chip with liquid gold dripping down it. Still pumping himself in and out of the other’s tight cunt.

“I’d rather not seeing as you’re dick deep in my body, but maybe later!” Guy yelled, rolling his eyes but couldn’t help but smile at the absolute absurdity of his actions.

“Okay then! More for me~” Sam said, popping the triangular chip in his mouth and moaning and cheesiness of it.

Guy huffed but felt to good to care for long, gripping the sheets as he got close.

“Oh man, I’m so close... would you like me to pull out?” Sam asked, planting his hands on the bed.

“Y- yes please, I am not getting pregnant in a hotel...” Guy moaned out, relishing in every last thrust wait for Sam to pull out.

“Okay yeah, we wouldn’t want that.” Sam laughed, before taking his member out and replacing it with his digits.

“Allow me to help you get you there~” Sam asked.

Guy nodded, and with that the other man fingered him more and used the thumb of his other hand to circle around the Knox’s clit.

Guy came at that point, biting his lower lip to keep himself from screaming as his body finally got what it was looking for.

Sam with one final motion took his fingers out and went up to kiss the other, his still wet hand cupping the taller man’s face as he did so. And at any other time this would have disgusted him, he was to far gone to give a damn.

“Can I finish you off?” Guy gasped after Sam pulled away.

“Of course~”

The Knox took that as his que to switch positions, he took Sam’s member in his hand and began stroking up and down feeling as it harden under his grip.

As he stroked it faster and faster, the closer Sam got until he was sent over the edge.

“Oh wow!” He yelled.

As he orgasmed, ribbons of jizz fell on Guy’s face, not minding as it coated his fur.

When Sam opened his eyes and his mind cleared slightly, looking down and this beautiful man covered in his seed. It was really hot.

“That’s a smokin’ image~” Sam cruned, Guy huffed our a laugh before realizing the time on the clock and gasping.

“Oh no, checkout’s in ten minutes! Ugh, we didn’t even clean up yet!” He said getting up and going into the bathroom.

During this time, Sam rolled himself over on the bed and next to the nightstand. Picking up the phone he called the front desk.

“Hello, I’m Lorie! How may I help you today?” A cheery voice spoke on the other end.

“Hiya this is Sam, Sam I Am! I was just wondering if anyone is taking the room W420 after us.”

“Let me check that for ya sir! Hm it would seem not, would you like to book the room for another night?”

Sam sighed in relief.

“I would indeed!”

“Alright then, I’ll put it in the computer now!”

“Fantastic, thank you so much Lorie you’re a doll!”

“You’re so welcome Sam! If there’s anything else I can do don’t hesitate to ask!”

“Actually now that you mention it~ does this place have any green eggs and ham?” Sam asked, a sly smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Do please share your thoughts!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
